http://www.wikihow.com/Forgive

"Hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is contained."
- Ann Landers

...actually, that's not really what the headline said, but it should have.

Here's the real one:

"Russian Circus Bear Kills Manager"

And, if you doubt the idea of ice-hockey playing bears as real, you need to see this.

I just found it funny to fantasize that this wasn't a bear, but a human hockey player.  It doesn't sound too far from the truth, except maybe the police would try a little bit harder to negotiate with the human.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

As seen in a news story (full story here):

---------------------------------
The star -- who admits "I'm clearly not ugly" -- isn't bothered by the fact that she's seen as a sex symbol.

"I don't know why someone would complain about that," she says. "That just means that the bar has been set pretty low. People don't expect me to do anything that's worth watching. So I can only be an overachiever. I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That's what our purpose is in this business. You're merchandised, you're a product. You're sold and it's based on sex. But that's okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded."

"I happened to be such an outrageous personality that people wanted to start writing about me because it was deemed controversial," she says. "I think if I had been a typical Hollywood actress and I said all the right things and I had been a publicity android, it wouldn't have escalated to this level."
---------------------------------

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

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__Turn a Home into a Business____
Acquire a multi-room dwelling that has the basic utilities (heat, electricity, water) set at a flat rate.  Split the space into private and common areas... bedrooms as individual private space and everything else as common "business" space.  Invest in food prep equipment to be able to make good basic fresh and preserved food (processing appliances, like grain mill, juicer, full size freezer) in large enough quantities to cater not only to the tennants, but also to any visiting guests.

As a functioning home business, offer opportunities for tennants to earn income by choice of available work to be done within the business.  If appropriate, reduction of rent by worktrade is applicable.
_____________________________

I just learned something I found interesting... that there is something called an "electronic cigarette".  When I checked further, I realized that this concept has existed for a while... previously known as a "smokeless cigarette" or also other names.

However, I'm still intrigued by the concept... because I think it has some interesting potential as a tool for helping someone who feels that smoking is harming their health but has trouble changing the habit.

The specific one I found is called "Blu" (http://www.blucigs.com).  Wikipedia has an article with a more general description of the concept (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-cigarette).

At first, I see that Blu is not marketed specifically to those wanting to quit (it is just a different way to deliver the same basic ingredients that a traditional cigarette does), but then I also noticed that they do have a non-nicotine option available.  Considering that the device can be used in places where smoking is not allowed, and that the marketers say it costs 75% less than regular cigarettes, it may be a very viable way to wean oneself off the sticks.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

Doing the Wrong Thing
by Cory Dean Smith . Com

I just watched the movie Bicentennial Man (again) and took notice of a line that his girlfriend says to him at one point when he is experiencing confusion over the concept of right and wrong when it comes to personal motivation.  She said that sometimes it is important to do the wrong thing.  Understandably, he was very confused by this.

Today I had my own experience of this concept.

I began my day with about five bucks in my pocket and a plan to get across the city and possibly have something to eat during the journey.  Taking the city bus is always a confusing prospect for me... as I never know exactly how to get anywhere – the maps and schedules just confuse the crap out of me.  I was hungry, but not starving, so I decided to start with the bus as the most important thing to take care of... and I was familiar with the route I'd need to take, so I felt confident about it.  Then my plans changed... and provided me an opportunity to feel the benefits of “wrong things”.

My plans changed the moment I hopped on the bus.  I was sitting there, confident about my choice, feeling like I knew exactly where I was headed – and then someone from outside poked their head in and asked the driver if this bus was headed to the central terminal (which I thought it was), and the driver said no – but he said that another bus which was going there would be along shortly.  I was a little stunned, because I was confident that every bus coming to this stop went to the downtown terminal.  Now I remember why I thought this... because the first time I took a bus from that stop I asked the same question and the driver at the time replied in a slightly condescending tone “Yeah, EVERY bus here goes downtown”.

At this point, I felt embarrassment – mostly because of the extreme change in my emotional confidence... I had been so sure of myself but was now staring a contradictory truth straight in the eyes.  I have a feeling that allowing myself to be “bullied” into that confidence by the first driver's condescending attitude has something to do with it as well.  No one around me knew about my feelings but me... which helped me contain my emotions about it to my thoughts rather than having them translate into physical sensations (flushing of the face, etc).  Staying “still” was my way of not externally exposing to strangers what was happening inside me.

In hindsight I realize that the deeper feeling here has to do with feeling betrayed by others and by myself.  I experienced both drivers as the same “source of information” and yet I got two communications from that source which directly and very obviously contradicted each other... that feels like a betrayal of trust from them.  I wanted to trust both drivers, but that ends up feeling like a betrayal of myself because the real truth is that someone must be wrong... and it could beme.  Either way, it is an issue of trust that has the ability to wrap me up in psychological knots.  The answer, it seems, is to trust my instincts... whether they seem acceptable or not.

So... I stayed “still” to appease a very simple and primal desire.  It felt like an instinctual behaviour, and the stillness was bundled with confusion... with confidence at about fifty percent.

I didn't have to wait long to further realize the potential depth of the “error”.  The bus almost immediately made a turn that started taking me in the opposite direction of my destination.  My emotions tingled nervously again as I realized that if I were to continue trying to plan my goal at this point, I would need to shift away from “planning for success” to planning to “minimize the damage” done by wrong choices.  The thought of this made my instincts to stay “still” kick in again for the exact same reasons they did in the first place (fear of embarrassment)... but with the additional internal pressure of knowing a single wrong could now be perceived as multiple wrongs... Oh the drama of it all!

Okay, so now another shift happened, but this time it was within me.  I let go of my “plans” and started thinking of it as a totally different experience... a chance to enjoy myself.  I knew I still had enough money for another bus ticket if I needed it, and I wasn't on any particular time schedule, so I decided to enjoy the experience of taking a potentially new route that I have never been on before.  If the route happened to double-back and bring me within planning range of my destination, that would be a bonus – but I was now resolving myself to two things... I wasn't going to be there in the timeframe planned, and I wasn't going to have money leftover for anything to eat along the way.  These were the only two criteria I originally began with... so letting them go was like letting go of my reason for even starting out at all this morning.  However, in the shadow of my “errors”, neither proved to be critical to anything other than my personal desires in the moment, so I was able to let them go and just sit back to take in the view.

We eventually did end up going approximately parallel to my destination, but it was still quite a distance away, and a river divided us.  Without knowledge of any other routes, I wasn't confident about planning anything.  The bus stopped for a long time at what I thought might be the opposite end of its route, and I again switched into planning mode, thinking that I might need to change buses there... but I again had a miniature instinctual behavioural moment that resulted in me remaining in my seat... and then the bus began to move once more.

Then the home run occurred... as we turned onto a familiar freeway, I had a rushing sensation that told me we were headed round the bases and straight for home.  I had a vision of the homestretch before it even presented itself... the bus turned onto the freeway towards a turn that I knew, if we took it, would limit the possibilities to two clear routes, both of which were walking distance from my destination.  The energy rush I felt was like a conceptual orgasm... an “Ah-Ha” moment which releases all the feelings of confusion about the original paradox of6 distrust and the indecisive stillness that accompanied it.  It was all the proof I needed in that moment that right and wrong are simply concepts rather than truths.

As you might predict at this point, the bus in fact did take the better of the two last routes presented and delivered me directly to the actual bus stop which my original planned route would have taken me to... and the cherry on top of this story is that I think I landed there at the same time as originally planned (or even earlier, as the original plan involved a transfer and a wait), and also with just enough change left in my pocket to reward myself with a bag of my favorite salt & vinegar chips from a local store (and I was only able to afford the chips because they happened to be on sale).

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

PS – A simple personal experience like this reminds me that that I want to help others experience their own realizations of how their worlds really do work.  Since I experienced this particular one firsthand, telling the story of it seems pale by comparison and therefore I sometimes wonder what might be the purpose of doing so other than for personal gratification.  However, I am learning that my personal gratification can actually be of benefit beyond it's apparent acceptability... all I have to do is trust that it will in fact find the destinations it needs to be at and let go of trying to plan the process (and... that my concept of “planning” may need to be turned inside out... that planning can actually be about letting go of detailed control instead of the other way around).

Made this up out of what was available in the fridge this morning and they tasted damn good... so I thought I'd write it down in case it's worth a million $ someday :)

It reminded me of an Indian breakfast dish I indulged in heavily while I was in Malaysia (scrambled egg wrap with roti bread and curry sauce).


-----------------------------------------------------------------------
INDUKRAINE EGGS - India meets Ukraine for breakfast

INGREDIENTS
1 & 1/2 Tbsp coconut butter
1/2 Tbsp toasted ghee
1/2 large onion, chopped fine
3 cloves chopped garlic
2 large forkfulls of sauerkraut
Salt
1 & 1/2 Tbsp curry powder
3 eggs, beaten

INSTRUCTIONS
Heat large cast iron fry pan and melt 1 Tbsp coconut butter and the ghee in the pan.  Saute onion and garlic until onion is a bit clear.  Add sauerkraut and saute until onion and garlic begin to brown.  Lightly shake salt over the whole pan and turn the food over once with a utensil.  Sprinkle the curry powder evenly over the food and then stir.  Saute until the curry begins to dry up the mixture to the point that it starts to stick to the pan and then add the remaining 1/2 Tbsp of coconut butter and stir the mixture to spread the oil around.  Stir fry it around so that the curry browns a bit and then pour the eggs evenly over top.  Let it sit for about 20 seconds and then gently stir every now and then until the eggs solidify and begin to brown with a curry coating.

Remove from heat and serve.

Serves 2 people (or one hungry guy).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

I am only one, but still I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.   - Helen Keller

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire.  It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.    - Jasper Fforde

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

Financial need can be a valid path of intuitive/spiritual guidance just as much as anything else can.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

My motivation is my teacher.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

There are actually official standards for Trust!  Who knew?  I wish I had found this when was young... well, no not really... I had what I had back then and now I am having something else:)

When I was browsing a site called Salehoo.com, I noticed a Better Business logo on the site... something I haven't noticed anywhere else before.  Turns out that the BBB has an online equivalent to the popular traditional local BBB office.  Nice touch!  Methinks this is a naturally good idea.

Upon digging a little further, I found a document describing the BBB's "Standards for Trust" (also known as the "BBB Code of Business Practices").  It seems like a fairly mature set of standards for what is known as "Trust", whether it be in the business world or life in general.

Here is a summary of what it says.

Here is a link to the original:  http://www.bbb.org/us/bbb-standards-for-trust


BBB Standards for Trust

Build Trust
Establish and maintain a positive track record in the marketplace.

Advertise Honestly
Adhere to established standards of advertising and selling.

Tell the Truth
Honestly represent products and services, including clear and adequate disclosures of all material terms.

Be Transparent
Openly identify the nature, location, and ownership of the business, and clearly disclose all policies, guarantees and procedures that bear on a customer’s decision to buy.

Honor Promises
Abide by all written agreements and verbal representations.

Be Responsive
Address marketplace disputes quickly, professionally, and in good faith.

Safeguard Privacy
Protect any data collected against mishandling and fraud, collect personal information only as needed, and respect the preferences of consumers regarding the use of their information.

Embody Integrity
Approach all business dealings, marketplace transactions and commitments with integrity.


Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

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Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

When I say that I "don't have the time" for something, I recognize that it may be more due to "timing" than "time".  I notice that timing can make a world of difference.  If the timing is right, the details of something can practically take care of themselves.

Love,
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

I remember watching a cooking show episode once that blew me away.  By comparison, all other cooking shows I've seen are either mildly funny or just plain too serious.

I wish I could remember the name of it (or it's host), but I can't.  The host reminded me of actor Peter O'Toole.  He and his guest were taping the episode outside in what looked like an english countryside, with wide open gently rolling grassland in the background and a waist-high stone wall in the distance.  They both had sweaters on that reminded me of worn looking maritimers standing on a dock in a foggy ocean side fishing town.

They spent the episode preparing something "in the raw" with what looked like a well blackened cast iron pan on some sort of outdoor stove.  They chatted it up quite a bit while cooking and generally made a great show of it all.  Then came the finale with the ceremonial fuss over the characteristics of the dish... the visual textures and smells, etc.  It was kind of like camping... they had tin plates and such.  Each of them took a portion and chewed on it while looking quite pleased with themselves... then, without hesitation, they both tossed their plates over their shoulders and proclaimed that it tasted absolutely horrible !

End of show.  Now THAT, as they say, was good television !

I think there is lots of opportunities in life to focus on doing things well.  I so much appreciate the ability to do things badly and still feel good about it.  The cooking show was still a fabulously entertaining thing to watch... regardless of the result.  Mind you, if they tossed out every dish they did, then it would likely become a bit tiresome.  I just appreciate the idea of having an honest moment in a situation where it seems rare.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

When are Emotions True:
Four Emotional Stages/Types

Emotions may not feel like they are true at all times, but I will suggest that they are.  I don't think there is any such thing as a useless emotion.  I think it's more a matter of understanding why emotions exist and how they are useful to us.  I believe they are understandable, and there is an approach that has come to me for the purpose of this article.

The various levels or layers of emotions and their uses are very interesting to me, and I think there is a lot to learn from them.  I think that it is possible for everyone to realize this as well, and I will show how here.  Of course you will have your own experience and understanding of what I am saying here, but I believe that when we eliminate the details that seem different, we will find that we are having the same experience.  While reading it, look for that similarity beyond the details.

I will use four terms to explain how I think emotions are useful, which I will call the "four stages"...

1. Direct-Involuntary Emotions
2. Indirect-Involuntary Emotions
3. Indirect-Voluntary Emotions
4. Direct-Voluntary Emotions

Note: If this seems similiar to another process (I can't remember it exactly right now, but it had to do with levels of consciousness - aka. "unconscious unawareness" at one end and "conscious awareness" at the other), it likely is similiar... though I'm not basing it specifically on that right now.


1. Direct-Involuntary Emotions
These are also called "instincts".  They are stored in genetic/spiritual memory and triggered by an experience with something that feels unquestionably real and immediate.  They are useful as part of immediate survival.


2. Indirect-Involuntary Emotions
These are instinctual reactions to the memory of a Stage 1 Emotion.  They can be triggered by something real and immediate, but that something is not necessarily the same thing that created the emotional memory in the first place (like having a reaction to the color of something rather than the thing itself... the association of the color is enough to trigger the emotional experience).  This type of emotion is useful because it keeps the instinct "sharp" in case it is needed.


3. Indirect-Voluntary Emotions
These are reactions to Stage 2 Emotion.  An example would be realizing that you are having an involuntary emotional reaction to something just by seeing the color of it and then becoming further emotional about this realization... like feeling depressed over being so inexplicably phobic about that thing (and it's color) and how that starts to become more of a annoyance (and maybe even a hindrance) than a useful reaction.  A Stage 3 emotion is triggered when you become aware of a Stage 2 emotion in yourself.  It is useful because it helps you recognize that you are in a process of changing.  A Stage 3 emotion is like genetic/spiritual growing pains.  The confusing part of this Stage is that the connection between the emotional reaction and anything that is actually immediate and real has become extremely weak, if not non-existent.  A growing pain in the body is a physical pain, but a growing pain in this realm is psychological and spiritual and has to do with the confusion felt when you can't easily trace or resolve the reasoning or the source of a strong emotional reaction.  The origins of the emotion from back in Stage 1 are not around any more and quite possibly are no longer in recallable memory.  To deal with the confusion, people commonly create something real to simulate that connection in their immediate reality so they can then "feel it" as they also carry out an action to "let it go" (like ceremonially burning an old diary, etc).  The art world is basically an self-made industry of producing every method under the sun to coach people through the Stage 3 process.  Art is about telling a story that helps make something feel unquestionably immediate and real without it actually being immediate and real.  It's like burning a diary on someone else's behalf (though many artists benefit the most from their own work).  Because it is not actually immediate and real, it is a "safe" way to experience the emotional memories and any reactions that may be associated with it.  It allows you to practice having those experiences without them being attached to reality and therefore without the need to react to them for "survival".


4. Direct-Voluntary Emotions
In a way, this stage actually comes before Stage 1, in that it is the stage that is responsible for creating new Stage 1 "Indirect-Involuntary Emotions" ("Instincts").  Stage 4 is where new, unbiased emotional responses happen in association with completely new experiences.  A "completely new experience" could be something truly new or it could be something that has been re-"newed" through the processes described in Stages 1 to 3.  A Stage 4 emotional reaction is one that is uncluttered by any "preferences"... but rather is mostly about the appreciation of the concept of "experience" in itself.  An example of this would be Nicholas Cage's Angel character in the movie "City of Angels", where he wanted to become human simply to be able to have fully sensualized experiences.  Data, the android on Star Trek, shared the same interest.  When he obtained an "emotion chip" that endowed him with human like emotions, he tasted a sour drink and had his first emotional "preference" reaction... "That was absolutely awful!"... and then promptly ordered another of the same drink simply because he was still more appreciative of the experience itself than he was of his preference of the experience.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

Garage sale event promotion broker.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr

The biggest job I have is taking care of myself.

Now I just need to find a way to get paid for it.

Love,
Cory
http://www.corydeansmith.com
http://www.corydeansmith.co.nr